Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Making it up

I don't know if any of you are familiar with the things my sister and I do, but you might have figured out by now that we're really into making things. Well, let's just say we can get pretty creative. We're not the best, but I know that we actually like doing it. Our biggest feat in college was updating a coffee table and a TV stand to match (both of which our friends have now pawned off of us). But I wanted to show you my latest creation because I'm actually making it Etsy legit! Yes, I think it becomes legitimate just because I put it on Etsy.

For those of you who have things listed on Etsy, you know that it's a commitment. And for those of you who have only bought off of Etsy, PLEASE give me a chance. Here's what I've got:

A custom bracelet with a streamlined herringbone design, made with colored suede leather and finished with gold or silver hex nuts.

I'm selling them for $12.99 each, but unless you can walk right up to me and have me hand them over to you, shipping to anywhere in the US will be $5.00. I know you may be thinking like, what? A bracelet for 17 bucks? Which is why I really couldn't help myself and wrote a lengthy explanation of why they cost that much, if you are interested, after the jump.

Friday, February 7, 2014


If you're wondering how I'm coming up with so many things to write about, it is because 1. I don't currently have a job, 2. I have TWENTY-THREE drafts of posts. Yes, I think in "blog".

Considering the latest buzz about what guys want in women and what women should be looking for in men, I thought I'd make a little (harmless) list of what turns me on in a guy. Click "read more" at the bottom left of this post to find out.

Exhibit A. This is just a picture, calm down.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

It is agonizing...

This obsession with beauty. I see skinny girls who manage to put on makeup everyday, even if it's just eyeliner and BB cream, and it kills me. I don't know how girls do this everyday. I can't do it everyday, and I don't. Baby there is nothing wrong with your face.

I don't think makeup is bad. In fact, I love how it can enhance your looks. I just can't see why girls think it should be an everyday affair. I mean, isn't it bad for your face? BB cream with the 7 different "benefits", eyeliner that you draw on your lash line. You do know even those things clog your pores, right?

I feel like makeup is a security blanket. Girls wear it because they think otherwise, people won't think they're beautiful. And then we wear it everyday because we don't know what might happen to us. Ryan Gosling or Chris Hemsworth could bump into you, apparently, and see your unmade face and never even think twice of you again. Or we wear it because we're just plain insecure about the way we look. Are we that ugly, gentlemen?

I've always made it a point to make sure that any guy I'm interested in is hooked by my brain, not the way I look. Attraction is nothing to me without intelligent conversation and genuine commonalities. I had the strangest conversation with a girlfriend of mine asking what I would rate Ian Somerhalder on a scale of 10. Let me first say, he is an attractive man. Of course. But she asked me. And my very first reply was, "But I don't know him." My poor friend had to actually create some sort of general personality for him before I would rate him - on his looks (I think I said 8, in case you were wondering). What I'm trying to say is, why do we throw ourselves at celebrities or even people we don't know just because they look great to us?

We are so shallow. I will not deny that looks do play a part for me personally when I'm interested in a guy, but about 70% of the time, I'm more interested in what he thinks, does, and says, more often than I would be about his $250 brogues or the insignificance of his chosen vehicle.But even then, those little quirks are what makes a man, and I appreciate them, but I don't think I require a mate to have an overly expensive car or clothes. My advice to you ladies is that smart men generally make sound choices. And wearing makeup might help you for awhile. But not forever.

Monday, February 3, 2014

In Between

That's where I am. I am calling it "The Great In-Between". In between school and a job that is. So my final semester was hell, and now looking for a job is ALSO (what do ya know) hell. And I'm a pretty resilient person. I deal with problems or emotional stress pretty well - in the sense that I try my absolute best not to let it show to the people around me and I just say "OK" a lot. So I guess that's not actually dealing with it.

I think I'm depressed.

Nobody understands. I just got 4 years of my life ripped away from underneath my feet - my livelihood (studying), my campus apartment, my environment, my friends. Oh God I miss my friends. And I miss knowing what to do, most of all. Because now I'm completely clueless. I mean I'm limited to applying for jobs that have writing involved, and in case it's not already apparent, those aren't very popular. Everybody wants a technical writer instead. I am seriously reconsidering my choice of a college degree in Creative Writing. Ha. Hahaha. At least I did what I wanted. Not well, but I did it. That's some kind of accomplishment, isn't it?

Also in case you didn't realize, all of my current posts will be depressing. Like this one. I LIKE to write about these things, okay? It's a RELEASE! And I can't figure out why people are still reading this, because how can you be so interested in my life? It's amazing. I would've bored myself to sleep five posts ago. I guess I'm trying to say thanks for reading this. Maybe you take some joy in my misfortune but at least you're getting something out of it.

Also, I have enough people telling me to look in different areas for writing jobs (and I am thankful for that), but if you have something even remotely interesting to share with me - I would like that SO much more instead. Like, I don't know, rampaging bunnies on the third moon of Saturn. Something like that.
Click "comment".

Friday, January 31, 2014


I can't help but feel that I become what people call me or think of me.

When I was in primary school, they called me stupid. And lazy. And though I definitely wasn't stupid, the more I was given that label, the more I seemed to become that way. As for lazy, there is a significance between being lazy and not understanding academic material. It is extremely difficult to grow up in a home where you're being taught entirely in English, and then to go to a school that "educates" you in Mandarin, a language that neither of your parents have any clue about. I couldn't wrap my head around why I was learning things in another language when I could learn so much easier and faster in the language I grew up with. It made no sense to me, so I refused to learn. Stubborn, is the accurate word my parents and teachers should have used, not stupid, or lazy.

But then there was this one time, out of all the uncountable bad-ass, fearless things that I did in that school, I remember being forced to say in front of an entire class that I had lied about bringing a handkerchief. The female teacher who looked like a 5' 11" tranny with a designer wig, had caned me in front of this class which I did not belong to, and when I was on the ground (probably weeping) she roared at me to admit that I had never brought a handkerchief. And because I knew that she would continue to whip me if I didn't give her that single satisfaction of being right, I lied. Because I did bring that handkerchief. But I also lost it. Survival of the fittest, ladies and gentlemen. It taught me that in life, I was going to be forced to do things that were completely against what I believed, and that I was always going to have to answer for things that weren't entirely my fault. It's made me a really good liar. But it's also made me a REALLY messed up person.
Why do you think I'm in the writing business?

When I was in homeschool, I was called lazy, again. I might agree to that this time, but it was only because I felt no sense of motivation to do my work whatsoever. I hadn't discovered my desire to learn things (just for the sake of learning) yet, so everything seemed pointless to me. Is there a difference between being lazy and not actually caring?

Then when I got to college, I almost completely failed my second semester. I had D's and F's in nearly every single subject. People thought I was going through depression. And I might have been. I cared a little. I don't think I "woke up" to reality in the end, really, but I figured out on my own, finally, that if I ever wanted to get anything done, I actually had to put effort into it. Such a simple concept, you think. But let me remind you that I was beaten in school for things that seemed trivial to me - like coloring, or not bringing a handkerchief, or a reply slip from my parents. Can you really blame me for not believing in education systems beyond my primary school years? I was and am not one to be tamed, and to blindly follow whatever someone tells me to do. It's unfortunate, but that's just not me.

I've gotten into so much trouble in schools not because I wanted to, but because I couldn't help it. I can't follow normal societal standards sometimes. It's just something inside of me - that I have to get out once in awhile. And I've long stopped caring about what people think of me, because they're always going to say I'm crazy, or stupid, or lazy. As long as I know what I am, I'm okay. I may be lazy in some situations, but not all the time. I may be stupid in some topics, but not all of them. And I might be crazy - but I love it. It's interesting, and wild, and fun. And I think I'd rather be me, than any other person someone else thinks I should be.

Put your drinks up

Because this is for the people out there like me. We are only quiet to the outside world, but here's to the days we are the only ones willing to jump off a cliff (or a pier) - just for the sake of it.
We might not seem dangerous, but it's only because we know what real danger is. And that real life is ephemeral.
This is for everyone out there who thinks there's something wrong with you, because there is nothing wrong with you. I might be the only person who has said that to you, I might be one of the many, but I hope you believe me. Because I'm just like you.

This is for all of those who spend their whole lives trapped in their minds. I know what that's like. And I admire you for it. And I will admire you even when you break free.
This is also for those of you out there still trying to impress someone. You don't have to impress anyone. Because there is no one else in this world who is exactly like you, and that is impressive enough.
Don't let yourself hold you back. Do it all. And know that you have the power to change.

Be free.